delighting in rain

Memories of homesickness bring about a cozy couch, mom’s soup, and a pink plastic mug of cold 7-Up. The other, the kind of homesickness people are supposed to have when they leave their country and their comfort zone for months at a time is not as prevalent for me in the memory bank. I mean, I’ve always been away from one parent growing up, and switching states every year or so was the norm. So it’s not a huge change for me to be distant from loved ones or to once again be “the new kid” in town. I see this uncommon perspective as quite a blessing—a great enabler for my independent lifestyle, such as the one unfolding now in Istanbul.

Yet, I suppose it can also be viewed as refreshing when I find myself to be more human, as I simply long for the company of the people who really know me—that these past few days I have not felt so comfortably isolated. For example, I’d like to spaz out in an explosion of wild facial expressions, accents, and lame jokes, but to do so here may result in people cowering in fear of my bulging eyes and rapid English. To do this, to let go might help me forget for a moment my frustrations (mainly with my game) and remember that I must find a way to think well and give my best even on the hard days.

Of course I realize that these circumstances seem so petty when set up against the deeper loss and heartache and pain of this world. Yet, this is my reality—my now. God knows I am thankful for it, but these past few days just haven’t been sunshine and lollipops. No. In fact, I’m soaked from the rain, and the taste in my mouth is reminiscent of dirty cilantro.

Ha. A bit over-dramatic, you say? Perhaps. I do know the sun is still shining behind the clouds. That assurance is the beauty of following after the God of all, knowing that I am exactly where I should be. With that comes a peace that truly does transcend understanding. And on those days (like yesterday) when I wake up feeling powerless, without the strength for a gracious attitude about the coming minutes and hours, I know that I can pull from the endless strength of Christ.

Today I read:
“Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength.
‘Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed,’ he said. ‘Peace! Be strong now; be strong.’
When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said,
‘Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.’”
~Daniel 10:18-19

In other news, two days ago I found myself surrounded by snowy trees and strange creatures. Swaying gently from the movement of the reindeer-drawn buggy, I saw that seated to my left was the Ice Queen herself. In my hand I held a small square, dusted with white powder. Stricken with glee, I popped the whole cube in my mouth. Chewy—oh so chewy--with a surprising crunch of nuttiness. Mmmm.... the subtle sweetness of my very first Turkish Delight.

…Then, in the lucid playground of my mind, I snatched the whole box from the queen’s icy grip, smacked her with the banana peel in my pocket and leaped out of the buggy! A red couch in the distance beckoned me to rest. And it was there that Esra, our team captain, and I reclined to watch her new documentary about the life of the country’s beloved Ataturk, laughing and learning with our Delights.

Today we have a match against Turk Telecom—one of the other top teams in Turkey. Last night I gave our old National Team coach Jenny Lang Ping a big hug—I was so happy to see her. Though, it will be strange to see her again tonight coaching from the other side of the net. It was funny that even in Turkey her homeland entourage was still at her heels. As soon as I saw her, a Chinese camera man scrambled to his feet to film our exchange. Oh the memories…