[Wrote this a few years ago... the title is inspired by a Michelangelo quote and a small plaque given to me by my brother: Ancora Imparo]
I am still learning
I scream in frustration
I hit the ball out again.
My teammate, my friend
Shakes her head.
I don’t see her do it,
But I feel her do it.
I’m sorry.
I am still learning.
I gather my nerve
I trust He has my heart, my words
I speak into her life,
The wall.
She runs.
I’m sorry.
I am still learning.
They call me.
I’m not here, even though I am.
They write me.
Weeks go by,
I’ll do it later, even though I don’t.
Is that love?
I’m sorry.
I am still learning.
I stand at the podium to offer a piece of my soul.
But I don’t think I should be up there at all.
I’m lonely.
I’m hurtful.
Impatient and brash.
There is still that pride
That swells up my flesh.
I do what I do
When I don’t want to do it.
I am what I am
When I don’t want to be it.
But despite the despicable state of my being,
There is hope.
There is He.
The One that I need.
No copping out.
No Christianese.
I am still learning.
Learning how to be kind
to love
to give
Learning how to receive
to be humble
and confident
Learning how to be patient
to listen
to let go
Learning how to lead
Learning how to follow
How to be disciplined
How to be still
Learning how to write
To speak
To will
I am still learning
How to be a better me.
